


Physical Limits of Intoxication

by purplekitte



Category: Final Fantasy VII
Genre: Drama, Multi, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-10-23
Updated: 2007-10-23
Packaged: 2017-10-19 08:48:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 387
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/199045
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/purplekitte/pseuds/purplekitte
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Zack is drunk and Cloud and Sephiroth carry him home.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Physical Limits of Intoxication

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own FFVII.

"Cloooud! Look at me! I'm upside-down!"

"Sir, what should I do about him?"

"Just ignored him, private. He is physically incapable of becoming as intoxicated as he is pretending to be."

"You're so mean, boss," Zack whined.

"And you encourage promiscuity and licentiousness."

"Too drunk to understand your big words."

"No, you would not understand a reasonable vocabulary when sober."

"Cloud, he's being mean."

Cloud was tempted to say _You deserve it_ , but the general was there, but the general was the one insulting him…

"Feel no need to dignify that with a response, private."

"Sir, should we carry him back to his room, so no one finds him still trying to stand on his head in the morning, sir?"

"He can move under his own power," Sephiroth said callously.

"Mean," Zack repeated, but he slung an arm over both of their shoulders to indicate he would be willing to get out of public if he could balance on them.

"Zack," Sephiroth complained a hallway later. "Balancing is not groping."

"Oh, sorry," Zack cackled wickedly. "I slipped." Well, no one would have believed him even if he'd kept a straight face.

"Ca—will you walk yet?"

"No. In fact, I think I'm starting to feel faint. Seph, we'll have to stop at your room because I don't think I can go any further. And Cloud will have to stay too because we can't send him back to the barracks smelling so strongly of booze. He'll be taken advantage of."

" _You_ intend to take advantage of him."

"It's not taking advantage of. You love me, right Cloud?"

Cloud occupied himself getting the door of Sephiroth's room open.

Sephiroth picked Zack up and threw him on the bed. "Ooh, kinky," was Zack's response.

"Sleep it off, soldier."

"I don't think I could sleep alone."

"You're practically passed-out drunk, even though you're not nearly as much as you're pretending."

Zack kept up his best big watery puppy dog eyes.

Sephiroth sighed, "Private, you can go wherever you chose, but he is right that your sergeant might object to you returning reeking of alcohol."

"So you two will _stay_ with me?"

Sephiroth did not bother responding, just sat down at the edge of his bed to unbuckle his boots. With much more coordination than he had been showing, Zack tackled him.


End file.
